Deals With Devil, Deals With Myself

I used to believe that to fully be alive You had to be on the edge On the verge On the run I thought the only authenticity Came from breaking all the rules The only way to be true to myself Was to live beyond the law I thought the only deals to make Were ones with the devil himself I pitied the people around me With steady jobs Steady love Steady lives I believed them shackled by monotony Imprisoned by the mundane I shuddered at the thought Of rules, schedules, routines But the older I got The more time I spent Alone in this state of mind Until I slowly came to see That I was living on an edge That was sharp enough to cut me And once it did I was going to bleed to death In a pool of my own broken promises So I made a deal with myself Finish a few things you've started Break a few less laws Let your sober days stretch longer Give yourself time to breath And simply see how you like it So I did And at first I felt trapped Held down by responsibility Drowining in real life But over time I began to appreciate the small The easy pleasure found in the simple The joy of a quieter life And I realized that I could live this way And to my shock I already was And it hasn't killed me yet So I guess for now it's working