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Dealkiller: Lying

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Below is the poem entitled Dealkiller: Lying which was written by poet Black Eyed Susan. Please feel free to comment on this poem. However, please remember, PoetrySoup is a place of encouragement and growth.

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Dealkiller: Lying

She looked a little young
But she said she was 21
So I bought her a drink
And with a smile and a wink
She came on to me
Flirting shamelessly…

So we went back to my place
And full body embraced
Then afterwards she said
She was 15, and I saw red 
In a rush the anger mounted
Before I knew it I was choking her out…

I wasn’t going to jail
For getting some tail
Or labeled a rapist because
She lied what age she was
Or worse, a child molester
Because I caressed her…

Soon her eyes stared listlessly
Still pretty - a necrophiliac’s dream
But alive she could have ruined my life
Over a drunken 5 minute ride
She never should have lied to me -
I grab her body and start chopping…


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  1. Date: 3/30/2013 1:14:00 AM
    Susan, this is one of my favorites of yours. I like dark stuff. Like Dexter and Walking Dead, so of course, this one would appeal to me. You ought to write a book like this. How is the one book of yours coming along. I know it promises to be filled with chills, right? Congratulations for your win today!!

  1. Date: 3/29/2013 8:33:00 PM
    Hola Susan, my dearest friend, Congratulations with your "Any Poem Goes" in my contest. It was an honor in hosting this contest once again. Take care and enjoy the up coming Easter Holiday. Goodnight*Always*LINDA

  1. Date: 1/9/2012 6:42:00 PM
    Susan, this is NOT dirtying up the poetry site as the guy below seems to think. As a huge fan of horror movies, I can say, this was low key enough to not be too raw for anyone adult enough to understand the story! I LOVE it, Andrea

  1. Date: 1/4/2012 8:08:00 AM
    What kind of statement is this? Something you should have put on another site without dirtying up this one. You just lost my respect. I sudjust you delete this trash from our site. And refrain from bringiing it here again.john

  1. Date: 12/22/2011 3:29:00 AM
    A very telling tale from beginning to bitter end... good luck in the contest.

  1. Date: 12/12/2011 1:41:00 PM
    eerie yet beautifully laid out, susan.. what a unique take!.. missed your contest but i'm back after those " copying" blues and my allergy.. miis ya; hugggs and winning wishes! :)

  1. Date: 12/12/2011 8:22:00 AM
    Scary piece, Susan - and no doubt has happened somewhere in the world at some time. Thanks - loved your contest. No, Jack would wear a mac, (raincoat) LOL

  1. Date: 12/10/2011 5:41:00 PM
    Just rereading this one. What a stunner for shock effect. I sure hope it wins big.

  1. Date: 12/9/2011 6:25:00 AM
    Enjoyed reading your wonderful poetry today Susan. Wishing you a beautiful weekend full of joy. Love, Carol

  1. Date: 12/8/2011 11:58:00 PM
    Whoa! That's brutal. No doubt it's happened, though.

  1. Date: 12/8/2011 11:53:00 PM
    oh my GOSH, bloody dark this one is, and you know what?? I LOVE it!! He'd rather risk life imprisonment and possible death penalty for murder than a few years for rape. Good grief!!

  1. Date: 12/8/2011 11:53:00 PM
    BY the way, let me know right away how you scored the poems. I'm dying to know!! when will you post winners?