Deafening Silence

Laying on the couch, the bed pulled out I hear his footsteps within the night Tiptoeing quietly so as not to wake the house Wondering should my response be fight or flight I see his shadow in the moonlit room His sickness permeates every one of my senses I lay in perspiration as I silently talk to God Thinking why I couldn’t have a life of white picket fences I beg God to lead him back to his wife All I want to do is sleep the night away I need for the morning to quickly approach Because I never have to worry during the day He stands over me and tells me to “Take ‘em off” And every single night, I do as I am told Every night my bed starts off snug and warm Then he comes by and makes it dirty and cold He gets in between and does nasty things And all I can do is whimper in the silence He always gives me the most unwelcome gifts Every single time he graces me with his presence The confusion is thick as my body responds And he begins to get even more excited He forces me on all fours, totally against my will I think he gets off from being uninvited He grunts hard after each painful thrust I pray to the Lord wishing He would take me from this I do anything to get my mind off of this moment Like reminiscing on a time when I possessed innocence Time takes its time; the clock barely moves I wonder when tonight’s torture will finally end My question was answered when my bed stops shaking Then he thanks me and hugs me as if I were his friend He goes back to his wife as if nothing ever happened My mother who is oblivious to his nightly sin Who can I talk to? Who could I depend on with my secret? That I have sex with my father daily and I’m only 10?