Dead Or Alive

I am,now,my own coffin... Moment by moment I die within... My breathes are a real burden,I swear.... I am an object beyond repair....! Pain is my possession,pain my friend.... Pain is that truth that does not end... My life is now a complete mess.... As I stand like a mere witness....! Was it my fault that I tried to be happy...? Was it my folly that I was not lucky? Why did my happiness run away from me.... As though I was its arch-enemy...! What meaning does this life make.... When I'm dead though I'm awake... Or,say,I'm living though I'm dead.... Shattered in the battle between the heart & the head....!