Dark Thoughts

Dark Thoughts.... Dark thoughts energy lost where did I GO? Inside my mind mental war I'm the only one taking score These feelings hard to ignore Why can't I be the person I was before? Overthinking my crime Need my mind to unwind A balance I need to find I have no concept of time They may see the real me Find out my depressive history Unmask who I am realize How much I self criticize Would they be kind & empathize What I see with my own eyes I am just plain very ordinary This mask is very necessary Happiness always temporary Sabatoge myself W my own commentary Nothing new that's customary Is this the fate I was assigned? That I will somehow always undermind My own inner thoughts so unkind Can everyone else see The self doubt that lives inside Self depreciating my minds guide I want to be all that they think I am I think I'm a decent Mother, Sister, & Girlfriend How do I get these feelings to end I prefer being real don't want to pretend Was easier to cope when I had my best friend For me she would relentlessly defend Someday this mental prison has to end Its comforting for someone like me I release my inner feelings in ink Otherwise even more free time to think think think