Dark

Dark chances, unhealthy and unsafe trauma HiStories Degenerating predative dogmas not wanting to let go of ballistics even for dawning light's sacred peace promise to grab full-immersion hold and heal dark mythologies lose now and again later ecologies repeat rehearsed inside-only voiced economies exploiting dark passion narratives Speaking out alarmed Betrayal from those you were taught to Trust-- [it was Her job! I have an unconditional contract on a warm wet naturally wombed and spiritually unwounded birthright!] Defying Other's Anger about my gift-economy Hypocrisy about my sacred Golden Rule restriction win/win positive aspiration, invoked by nature's spiritual Hippocratic Oath to at least do no damage losing trusted breath in so losing full breath capacity back out again and again and repeat breathlessly fading again. My own most difficult, occasionally traumatic, distressingly long, slow letting go transition Feels almost inevitably headed for natural health-Lose spiritual wealth-Lose despair Unless we all keep trying our best, not just me cleaning up your mess to suffering servant impress All us AnthroPrivileged victims aware of traumatic over-populated rabid pandemic health risks, and runaway emerging PTSD and dementia and suicide and matricide and ecocide Make it almost impossible to respect ourselves yet not fear retributive justice officers and judges and monolithic Yang-Jehovah Dispensing punishments and fines and shame and blame where the only obvious victim I can see is me. My dark protagonist continues to be victimized, even now in aging memories Every day past light leads, at dusk, to dark future leads, at dawn, to soon past insufficient light... Yet my attachment to enlightenment encourages me to disregard co-arising dipolar dark disempowering entanglements bicamerally re-associated Yet awkwardly ungraceful sometimes with high-risk staggering trauma histories monoculturally LeftBrain EgoCentric predative Yang AnthroPrivileged Voices stuck on healthy and safe past orthodox value systems personal insufficiency of co-invested time and economic and political sacred space separate and unequal multi-sensory and yet anti-sexual competitive dogmatic traditions Not spiritually or naturally learning so not wanting to let go even for dawning light's healthy promise to grab resiliently held recovery healing dark post-traumatic lose/lose zero-sum global ecocidal winterish nightmares Dipolar co-arising unconditional warm sun rising well-moisturized copassionately co-invested wellness watered day dreams and horizontal cardiovascular dances, core-chakra interpersonal win/win exercises nonviolent practice practice practice Until we get our cooperative peak experience sacredly awesome and restorative ego/ecojustice left and right up and down in and out rebalanced again BiLateral BiCameral creolization in timeless tides of over-swelling regenerativity Not quite climaxing so bleakly vulnerable alone trapped in silent screaming stark resounding Dark.