Critterature: A Prickly Situation

Old joke: How do porkypines mate? Very carefully. The porcupine's a modest And mostly solitary beast, Akin to capybara and to beaver, Though in size he is the least. He rarely gets invited To a bar-b-que or feast, But long as he's not on the menu, He doesn't mind it in the least. He'll never write his memoirs, Although of stories there's no lack, But penmanship's beyond him, He just doesn't have the knack. And though he ports around a vast array Of sharpened quills upon his back, There's not one that's fit for writing In all the clicking, clacking pack. When "she" sends forth her pheromones, And "he" rises to the bait, Safe sex is uppermost in mind As he advances to the plate. His approach must be well-timed, precise, Lest she shish-kabob her mate. If it's not done right the first time… There won't be a second date.