Crack In My Armor

I hurt inside I cry inside I smile so that I can still hide Remain calm they say Stay strong they say That’s all I can do Every time I’m asked what’s wrong Stop questioning me Just let me feel Show me you care But don’t suffocate me with your fake empathy I care too much The oversensitivity leaves me numb So again I hide Behind my phone, Behind my books, Behind my pillow, Behind my looks I worry too muchThey tell me that everything will be fine But that was years ago It’s still not fine I need help But I never find it I don’t need empty promises I just need it all to be fine now I need it to all be ok Because I’m not strong I just pretend so that others can be I am weak So weak I stop feeling and I joke around I need to Otherwise I’ll just cry All day and all night When will I be fine When will I prove that I am enough to myself and to the world I need guidance But I am far too proud I want to scream But I am much too scared So instead my voice remains quiet Soft like I’m afraid to speak Because I am If I speak too loud I will let it all out and everyone will know The pain I feel is not the same pain others feel Others feel greater pain Have suffered more But my pain is still real It paralyzes me There are days where I just want to lie in bed Not because I am tired But because I am exhausted From trying to stay strong From being hopeful But being hopeful is all that I have So I move I move