Consuming Fire

Licking my wounds. Recovering from the pain. Is it supposed to feel this way? Empty, cold, and dejected. Ashamed of not enjoying it. Radiating heat filling me up from my pelvic floor. Somehow, I am wanting more. More of the pain without it there’s no freedom for what lies between my legs. I am ashamed of how it leaks, throbs, & pulsates for more. Maybe one more time, it won’t feel this way? The all consuming fire that takes me to hotels with strange men. Maybe it gets better Or the best it will ever get? But the high weighs more in the moment. To keep me sailing away from the fear and shame. With the pain, I do it anyway Slowly as my heart, soul, & sanity fade away While my pelvic floor screams to breathe While my body crumbles from the destruction a single man brings.