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Consciousness Correction Premiere Contest Winner

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“The minute I heard my first love story,
I started looking for you, not knowing
how blind that was.
Lovers don't finally meet somewhere.
They're in each other all along.”

Mawlana Jalal-al-Din Rumi, The Illuminated Rumi

For Unseeking Seeker's poetry contest - Consciousness correction

 

 

Yesterday, when conscious slept, anger was my shield, fear my faithful sword. When hatred contaminated my heart, tears ached for tranquillity, polluted in guilt from selfish greed. Life can be a disaster waiting to occur, leaving you in despair gasping for air, suffocating your sighs with crippling changes, due to disorientation in imagining reality. I've always been in an internal war, fighting the two voices in my head. You can't kill someone who died before birth, so not every battle is worth fighting for, yet I was always in envy of peace. I want to disappear sometimes, bid a secret farewell to the shadows that pursue, but I'm afraid of diving into the unknown. Maybe I'm an imposter, maybe I'm just a Gemini everyday, I am different, a multitude of personalities, a creative charming chameleon. In times of fragility and frustration, I wish I was a secret to society, but I don't want to be alone tonight, so I'm soul searching for a love unspoken, not cursed with deafening screams. In solitude, overthinking is a poison, so I turn to unfulfilled prophecies - to bring me back to life. I've always had an aversion for perversion, become a nemesis to prejudice. Spirits taught me to 'be my own universe.' to fly to the sky, wave ego goodbye, so my flaws make me shine more. There is no shame in vulnerability. No embarrassment in slaying pride. In the angst of anxiety, paralyzed by self-possessed sadness, I set out finding sincerity, my coincidental half - but you have always been inside me. When I finally opened my eyes, I felt alive. Lust is a mute assassin, a terminal sickness. Love is like a fever, it leaves you speechless. I used to idolise silence, but now I'm a slave to consciousness. Oh my sentient soul, we are unrhymed verses, our lives a living rough draft. Decorate me with your ink, complete me with your conclusion, as you are the music playing on loop. Let them say we are mad as we dance, lost in lyrics only we can hear.

Copyright © | Year Posted 2023




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Date: 12/6/2023 4:57:00 PM
I simply adore this write thanks for sharing your lovely work.
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Date: 12/3/2023 2:32:00 AM
????
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Date: 11/30/2023 10:02:00 AM
Back with congratulations on your trophy win, SO. This is a brilliantly written poem with emotion embedded in every image, every metaphor - "lust is a mute assassin," "lost in lyrics only we can hear," "bid a secret farewell to shadows that pursue." You have a unique and wonderful talent for pulling poetry out of the thin air of a contest theme. What a joy it is to read your elegant creations! You inspire me. So happy for your win. Blessings!
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Date: 11/30/2023 7:34:00 AM
Congratulations on your wonderful win. WOW!!! A Top Honor Just For You... A great write/a great ending... Have a wonderful/blessed day with your win................
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Date: 11/30/2023 5:59:00 AM
Back with hearty congratulations on your contest top win, with this lovely poem, Silent One.
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Date: 11/30/2023 5:35:00 AM
Congratulations on your top place in the contest. A well deserved win. A pleasure to read this piece.
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Date: 11/30/2023 3:44:00 AM
My gosh, you seriously blew my mind with this one, given how deeply resonate the lines and words here are..You've truly poured potions of wisdom and philosophical depth whilst making the phraseology enriched with artistic poetic skills too! Some very complex emotions you've described here in a palpable way. I've too faced those fears, hatred, darkness, fragility and vulnerability when life becomes nothing but a disaster..When subconscious trait of sadness & ache finally awakens for a correction-
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Sharma  Avatar
Hiya Sharma
Date: 11/30/2023 3:47:00 AM
our consciousness becomes cleansed and only the melodies of truthful conclusions fill our lives.. "I used to idolise silence,but now I'm a slave to consciousness", "set out finding sincerity,my coincidental half -but you have always been inside me" Every line holds so much depth n meaning.. I want to quote this whole piece here.. Magnificently inked, silent one! Heartiest congratulations on the trophy win too, your poetry deserves all the accolades!
Date: 11/30/2023 2:06:00 AM
Beautiful...
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Date: 11/29/2023 11:05:00 PM
Congratulations on your trophy win. I knew this would score high. Well deserved.
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Date: 11/28/2023 3:15:00 PM
Amazing imagery. I really loved the last verse, starting with oh my sentinent soul.
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Date: 11/27/2023 12:44:00 AM
We are all made up of differing selves. Consistency of behavior is rarely achieved. You are never an exception. But correction is possible for all of us, if we consciously try. That's the beauty of life. "our lives a living rough draft. Decorate me with your ink, complete me with your conclusion, as you are the music playing on loop." If this plea arises from your heart with sincerity, you are righted ! Well done dear friend. Best of luck!
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Date: 11/25/2023 3:58:00 PM
so many brilliant lines in your poem. I felt some sadness in some of your lines and twinges of hope and light shining through. In fact I felt a range of emotions. Your descriptive words on inner conflict will stay with me, for they gave me pause. Truly a poetic masterpiece!! Enjoy your weekend, Sara
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Date: 11/25/2023 6:39:00 AM
Dear Silent One, you adeptly convey a myriad of intense emotions using exquisite Diction. The seamless transition from the beginning to the ending verse is truly captivating. The manner in which they articulate inner conflicts in this poem is nothing short of extraordinary. The profundity and allure of the Rumi video cannot be overstated.
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Date: 11/25/2023 6:28:00 AM
I've always been in an internal war, fighting the two voices in my head. You can't kill someone who died before birth, so not every battle is worth fighting for, yet I was always in envy of peace--highly expressive write, SO. Potent emotions you convey throughout in splendid vocabulary.
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Date: 11/25/2023 4:13:00 AM
This is such a poignant write dear silent one, so much woven and expressed in such eloquence. I love the flow of the first lines and the way you’ve phrased inner turmoils and this line hit me the hardest “ You can't kill someone who died before birth“ as i know the story and expression behind that. Sincerity and love something hard to find in this cruel cold world , and sometimes we look for something from outside whilst we have it all within us. “ love is like a fever..” what a brilliant line
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Ink Empress
Date: 11/25/2023 4:15:00 AM
The ending is so profound and captivating, i can almost see rumi whirling to those lines so lyrically stunning and divine. “ Decorate me with your ink, complete me with your conclusion, as you are the music playing on loop.” Yeap! I can resonate with that on another level. It must be a beautiful place to be in a place where your mind plays the music for you to dance to. Pleasure reading this. Goodluck for the contest. Im sure this will do very well. Fave for me definitely

Book: Shattered Sighs