Condemning Voices

Why is it I sit here and question what I could have done when people tell me there is nothing. Maybe it's because there is something inside of me screaming that I am partly to blame. I try to drown out the voice inside telling me I could have done something but it only grows louder. I continue to try and block the condemning screams. I try to block them out with anything, laughter, sleeping, running until my body is weary but I constantly hear the dull roar of the accusing voices. I was young, but not so young I shouldn't have picked up on clues. I was old enough to pick up on clues, but not old enough to put them together. I start to come to a place where I accept that there is nothing I could have done, the voices start to fade. Then I begin to think about it all and the condemning voice is back again yelling louder than ever before, but yet so silent no one can hear.