Comming Down

I can't understand why I have no control over myself Left hanging in the wind with a tremendous awe splattered across the still functioning parts of my brain I see it happening I know that I should stop But what will be left for me if I actually stop More time to try and resolve the whos the whys and the hows And sober at that within no time the volcanic rage and the rivers of depression inside of me will explode and flood the whole pathetic planet The old me with its near balance of living will be torn to shreds and allowed to float among the stars before being sucked into the complete hell I have created Where the dreams die Where you realize there is no mystery our lives mean less than nothing Time and Space devours all leaving us with even less than before I am saving you all going nowhere and destroying my body murdering my brain all so the real me stays inside.