Comforting Absence of Feeling

I admit, Emotions were enlightened with your essence But don't think i enjoy this edification for a second Delightful numbing was my closest friend long before you meandered in, imitating innocence and self righteous regard Oh Beautiful solitude my first confidant, my first lover. I still think about it when I’m with you we got along better than you and I ever will I, mean come on! It was the last thing I had I owned my self-destruction Now it belongs to you Because you fill me with Consistent apologies I ask forgiveness for my excitement, and pardon me for my smiles And I’m sorry that I don’t know what your plan for me is Self-doubt or self-awareness? It’s Funny you say you hate my narcissism Yet engage me to ignore my instinctive personal hatred Which had been held tightly Until you chiseled out a hole in my soul Big enough to stick your flashlight in to explore And syrupy useless feelings poured out ruining my sunday clothes… So now my emotions use their unfamiliar powers To make my eyes release the last liquid in my body Into your hands So you can lick up all of this salty anguish And smirk with my pride stuck in your teeth