City Lights

I live between tonight and tomorrow.. I dance upon the valley that separates adulthood from recklessness. I find myself in the city lights, caught between my mother's nightmares and my freedom. My mistakes stay in the shadows, where I can misplace them. Each one breathes a different rhythm. They're like a photograph that's been filtered too many times Only the outlines can be detected while the details transform to grain. Bars comfort insomniacs, the lonely, the scared, the prideful, the weak, the lost. We become only as tall as the stools we sit on, entangled in a burning drink like a knot that won't loosen. I inhale the city lights and wait to be illuminated. I find my shine in the first drink and the last one, and in all the ones in between. I barter my dreams for black out slumbers. The sun rises along with my comprehension. I try to gather fragments of the memories I surrendered, piecing them together to create my own rum soaked puzzle. Another raw mark of passion bruises my neck, reminding me I'm my father's disgrace. Images of my mother's face slip away as my eyes can only gravitate to the floor. Sometimes, when the party stops and the air grows as still as a moonlit lake, I can hear her prayers. The wind soothes my face while the sun kisses my cheek, momentarily cradling my guilt from last night's wreckage. It's like the last remnants of sand in a shoe, there's always some left. Each night chips away, leaving ashes of me and my mistakes scattered among the city. Until steel bars encage me or dirt surrounds me, you can find me in the city lights.