Chronicles of a Plus Sized Chick

These are the thoughts and feelings of a plus sized chick, One who is defined as plump and thick, With chunks of fat and extra skin, Rounded edges and puffed up cheeks. This is her being raw and real Saying it exactly how it is. It has never been, not for a single day, easy to be me, The stares and glances, The giggles and pointed fingers, The questions and comments, The opinions and suggestions, About going to the gym and reducing on the food, Even when you have the smallest plate in the room. Your explanations as to why you are how you are, Taken as silly excuses of laziness to change into what they prefer. It is hard, having to take comparison from parents, About you being the youngest yet ugliest, Always pointing out how you should have taken tips from the beautiful rest. Nothing is as embarassing As having to skip shopping sessions, Because you are perfectly sure, that you will not get anything your size, And even if you do... Whatever it is, ends up looking like a masquerade's disguise. Having to either become anti-social, To avoid confrontations, And cruel rhetorical questions, Or turn into a tomboy, And act like you don't care, All hardcore though inside, somewhat coy. Staying away from dresses and skirts, Make-up and such, Because though they may do it for the chin up, But from the neck down You still end up looking like a clown. This is the daily life of a chubby chick, Having to live with the fact that she will probably never date a hot handsome guy, Probably never get married, And if she does... It would probably be to a guy who is as desperate as she is. So instead she plans her life: Read hard, get a good job, Earn thoroughly, relocate: rather disappear, and get twelve different breeds of exotic dogs Then live happily ever after. This is about her who has to have a strong hard heart, That is able to stand past words, Words that cut and hurt, Words that crush her into small tiny parts, But like a beggar on the street, who has coins thrown and scattered at where he sits, Patiently collects one after the other, Because only he understands how precious each one is, So does she, Slowly and carefully picks the shuttered scattered pieces of her, One by one, Sniffing back a tear, As she has done so many times before, Because she has to be strong And strength is not seen in crying. This is about that girl that does not know, The difference between a compliment and being mocked, Because from her past experiences, The two seemed intertwinned with a very thin line between them, So often she would confuse one for the other. She has not been conversant with genuine kindness, And so every word said to her is always frisked for hidden meaning. These are the insecurities of a plus sized girl, The empty wishes of her heart, That maybe one day society may stop being harsh about her lack of holdable waist, and definite curves, That maybe one dayshe will sit on a pin, And her body will turn out to be a pumped up airsuit and burst, That maybe one day, just maybe, one day, Even in the life to come, She will be able to look feel and think beautiful Because upto now all that falls in her list of wishes. She however has To put on a smile Hold her head up high Do all she can to accept herself Despite how hard it practically is And love herself to bits Because she is her own gem Her own priced diamond And only she could love herself as she trully deserves. These are just the feelings and thoughts of a plus sized chick, One who is defined as plump and thick, With chunks of fat and extra skin, Rounded edges and puffed up cheeks, This is her being raw and real Telling it exaclty how it is.