Christmas Should Be Banned
The day after Christmas I really can't wait
The day it's all over - my one favourite date
The months of piped carol's wherever I go
I swear I'll go mad at the next "ho ho ho"
I need a lone island to hermit away
That has a no fly zone for Santa's red sleigh
And stay there for autumn (that's "fall" in the states)
With Scrooge and the Grinch - both soul and house mates
We'd ban Christmas trees - we'd ban fairy lights
We'd add tinsel bans to the State's Bill of Rights
We'd start a campaign to ban Christmas cheer
We'd ban Christmas spirit and wine and all beers
We'd change Christmas lyrics to raise merry hell
Except for that jingle where Batman does smell
We'd steal all the crackers with cheap paper hats
And plastic bum presents with jokes that fall flat
We think that's the total - we've covered all bases
We'd grumble and humbug to remove Xmas traces
But what's that someone's shouted? What's that I can hear?
Some cheerful old crackpot said "Happy New Year"
(Entry to "the day after Christmas" contest - 21st December 2016)
Copyright © Mark Martin | Year Posted 2016
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