Choosing

She's not sure why she always chooses to die Why it is she is drawn to demons and lies The guilt she carries is so heavy it breaks she just can't build up whatever it takes Behind her is ashes resembling all the pain Inside her are ghosts lingering in her shame A vicious circle, trying to erase whats made An ugly irony because happiness she trades Tomorrow she will relive yesterday's pain She'll lose control and then have to regain Trapped in a web of pain; she weaves more She's beginning to confuse what's at her core Her mistakes have left more than one mark Her world is lonely, scary and dark Sadly the only relief she knows and feels Is short lived, for she'll have to steal Fake smiles fabricated by men and booze She's temporarily happy but she will lose She wants to break the cycle and be free But it's the reality that she just can't see Destruction surrounds; leaving nothing behind She no longer has a reason to even find Her anger takes over and she is blinded again she's dumped back into her life cycle of sin She is covered in the dirt of her past With stakes like these she will never last Her blood flows in reds and in blues If only she had the strength to just choose To choose correctly and not have to lose Always a moment too late when she finally sees Left in her own aftermath, she too agrees