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Carnivorous

I am hungry My carnivorous soul Must eat I rip at the steak of reality With my sharpened teeth Shredding it Swallowing pieces whole Bloody bits Dripping down my pointed chin Pure animal instinct Pours through my body And dribbles out of My mouth My nostrils My eyes My ears Until I see my reflection In the mirror My irises disappeared From my eyes Nothing but big black holes In the center of white And I stop for a moment I frown at myself And wonder what is wrong Is it this eating Or is it my human prison I decide I must shed this skin I begin to pull up the Thin, leafy, papery skin Piece by piece Each rupture revealing The glossy, jet black underneath It is beautiful And dangerous I tear more frantically at the skin Pulling it off Like someone takes off their clothing before a bath Until nothing is left but Small strips of peach over the black The leftover pieces slough off of me And what was once hidden Is now revealed A carnivore Bred for killing And that is what I am.

Copyright © | Year Posted 2011




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Date: 4/5/2011 7:19:00 AM
I like the line "rip at my steak of reality." I want more of it, more description of what you're eating, what your "human prison" is. I think this would help others to relate to it more. Are you eating heartache? Lonliness? Parts of you? I would suggest more of this and less of the actual eating, although I do think you have some powerful lines you should keep. It is good as is, but I think it could be even better. Just my opinion, but if you do happen to revise it, I'd like to read it.
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Date: 4/4/2011 2:58:00 PM
very sureal! and discriptive, perhaps just the beginning of a longer narrative write? Light & Love
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Book: Reflection on the Important Things