Can Somebody Please Give This Uber Muff Fuller a Lyft

Can somebody please give this uber **** fuller a lyft? alternately titled: jump starter for clunky, junky, quirky, xyz mechanic wanted in tow tow - chassis what I mean?) As the proud graduated honorably rolled 2009 Hyundai Sonata vehicular property belonging to a mister and missus Matthew Harris (fifty shades of gray if that makes any difference), I experience nervous rack and pinion quaking shimmying, whining, and zipping also twittering, shuttering, linkedin kickstarting powertrain even before chugging, huffing, puffing, spewing... like magic dragon along boulevard of broken automotive debris regarding upcoming emission/inspection due before stroke of midnight August 31st, 2019 last year this time... aye yie yie... oil my pan, a major overhaul comprising driver side suspension engendered shock, I...could not absorb even now, yours truly strut er ers..., and doth recoil scary undertaking smattering of months thereafter, (I wheely cannot engine ear recalling exact amount of time) what in the name of... car nation... then... driver side rear brake assembly required replacement giving said owners run off Golden Gate Bridge for their newfound moneyless rendered situation (ex post facto new battery got installed) sorry to zap at greased lightning speed and (mane lee) take lion's share of social security electronic deposit, (what with fuel tank filler ups, and insurance - no matter Nationwide always on my side) understandable decent folks would prefer to steer me off cliff side, but my dear friend SEPTA doth not cam into hinterland namely Schwenksville, Pennsylvania, thus imposing prohibitive dollars tooling them around mainly medical appointments, cuz at ten plus years old, and odometer clicking away... mechanical malfunction, could diesel lee, axle dent tully risk life and limb, thus park my exhausted words this fellow gas guzzling, motoring, rotating tire screeching hot rods... ole clunker auto know, but hates tappet cob Bosch, and get cha piston off..., but tread carefully, and curry big stick shift.