Cain and Able

Despair that transpires, and confuses within, around in chaos I spin and spin. Suffering the delusions that complicate the cycle of life, everything eats leaving only the matter of strife. Blood red tears that form my complex heart, suffocating from every wave of anger that will start. Over and over I sit within my mirror, yet things never seem to get any clearer. Judgment is with held but failure is futile, so why should I ever believe life is worthwhile. Deadly convictions due to times of the past, everything seems to catch up so fast. I believe in my screams that no one can hear, within my hell spawns what is fear. Burning in a flame of strife's depression, drowning in life's mucked up lessons. In my focus on what lies ahead, is all that remains - to be dead. Behold this demon that confronts my fate, withholding the conclusion that slowly dissipates. Unnecessary violent dreams that darken my desire to live, the secrets expose a form of mortification that remains to forgive. Infinity comes what is behind all lies, of the hurt and shock, crying despise. Dirty belief that shame becomes, a dark mass of infected recycled slum. This rope around my neck choking my air waves, brain cells dying in my end of days. Repressed desire to end my life because its fake, I face this reality I can never shake every time I awake. Daydreaming in times and places that where never real, nothing exists in memories that one cant overcome to feel. Numb to forgiveness of ones self-denial, while walking life's long green mile. Stumbling and falling into my own grave, to this insanity of grief, that becomes my slave. A fortune is told to help prevent surprise, when in fact its overcome that becomes demise. Explain these thoughts that control my will, tell these voices to shut up I don't want to kill.