By His Grace

Easter approaches. with the days counted on the calender each year I watch and wait to observe the little boxes and little slashes get moved on down the row untill the month is over and I can move on with the un-remembering the dreams can rest and sleep return the un-acknowleded tracking of the anniversary of the days our lives unmade I can stop pretending that this is just a day and move on with the daily motions of life and pack away flashbacks the leak in when the world keeps reminding me that She left me this day, and flew home with Jesus. I pray this is the year I can worship and praise the grace that saved me from fear and anger the love that forgave me for running .....but Lord the loss is so heavy. Last Sunday I thanked you for healing my grief and plowing my heart towards love and acceptance again Last year I gave thanks that I could remember in love instead of anger today I weep to feel that love and hold this loneliness... my intentions are pure but father this ache is overwhelming. this pain has been my undoing for so long half my heart has gone but grace rebuilds it fortify these cracks with Life and Love... by grace and mercy my mistakes are forgiven my guilt removed that I can remember in love not pain the self remorse for living and anger of her dying you take it all Father and remake us in your grace lifting us from your cross to heaven ......but I miss her Lord and these tears are etched in your holy day I can not celebrate in pain.