Busting My Zip

Getting ready to go to the big school Was such a worrying thing I heard grim tales of bullies The teachers and the cane And when I saw the savages Get of the bus and fight The worry almost drove me insane. I remember my mother taking me for a new school uniform In the Army and Navy stores Trying on twenty uniforms Or more. My mother chose a blazer Far too big for me It looked like a parachute And so long in went below the knee. It would have been better a poor lad Three times as big as me. She said ''well, you'll grow in to it.'' Thirty years later I'm still waiting. My trousers were so baggy A gust of wind and I would almost fly You could see me fly by. When I got to school Out of nearly 2,000 other pupils I stuck out like a sore thumb I was so embarrassed Thanks to mum. The zippier on my trousers was always bursting Because I was so fat I'd go to the matron Who aid I spoke the Queens English Give me a safety pin for my zipper And that was the end of that. Sometimes the button would fly off my trousers Suddenly and my trousers would fall down I had to pull them up and hold them in place With one hand And hold my blazer over my crotch You can imagine the strange looks that Got. Yes the one who said, ''School days are the happiest days of your life'' Well They never went to my school, mine was Hell. Peter Dome. Copyright.2015. May.