Bullied As a Kid

among the countless thugs that teased and taunted myself as a boy who exhibited blatant characteristics of being painfully shy and coy attempting to remain like a statue as a decoy which tactic nada successful employ but only incensed and beckoned like tasty morsel chronic unpleasant bait to be pitted with words always feeling like an outcast (of poker flats) without a date populating school memories of loathsomeness and hate serving as token punching bag nearly the duration every year of public school, which vicious name calling assaults upon me psyche did wear away negligible self confidence, or internal rage that found instinct to veer away from approaching fist, which knuckle sandwich from tier of hooligans gave no surcease to knock this then introvert on his head or scrawny rear a lonely lad bereft of any buddy to stand close as bona a fide genuine peer, nothing but dark shadow casting silhouette per edge of night always near one brazen dude named Lloyd Lavinsky hovered ever near especially during recess at Audubon Elementary School he did chase and lear encouraging mob fiends to join in an additionally mock and jeer which unprintable epithets, I can still faintly hear in tandem with that native animal fear that found this then socially withdrawn second grader a targeted deer caught in cross hairs of boys who seemed like giants and fierce some as a bear clawing at a scared little boy plus hurtful words thru the air which cruel barbs hurled lent convenience for me who stood stock still or crouched down on ground intimating passivity and inferiority brought grimace and frown to those who mimicked flaws, aside from being shriveled flower on lawn included nasal twang from submucous cleft palate defect that did spawn speech impediment and obvious magnet for brutal beast to relish, savor and feast hoping to bring me to tears at the least knowing this human docile scared dog would not fight back fearing he might get beat to a bloody pulp for justifiably flack even my late mother also told me to give brats a “what for” with two fisted pack that triceratops nasty gang bulging biceps they did pack who to this very day I bristle to smack with an ole mighty whack as if strength within transferred to computer Goliath body guard manufactured by Sperry Univac. postscript: although just a infinitesimal dot moxie this mortal got.