Bubba's Away At College

By Elton Camp Howdy, Leroy, how’s you and you’rn? I ain’t seed you since th' baby was born. Livin’ way up hear in th’ mountain, Of th’ days I sorta lose accountin’. Well, Jim, as fur as I kin tell We’se doing tolerable well. Lulu’s marriage has at last been laid. Wuz getting’ afeared she be an old maid. Kinda bad fer her to be publicly seen. When she’s wuz single at fourteen. And Bubba’s got as big as a bear. He’s ugly enough to throw a scare. What kind of job did Bubba ever get? He wuz always too lazy t’ break a sweat. Fer him, schoolin’ wus a mite too tough. Th’ schoolmarm made it mighty rough. Bubba ain’t been around for many a day. Because off to a college he went away. Jim looked at Leroy with suspicious doubt. Since he had to wonder what that was about. Nothin’ like thet I’ve ever seed. Why old Bubba, he can’t even read. Hit must be you has money to burn. How, in college, can Bubba learn? Leroy realized that he hadn’t made it plain How at a college big Bubba could remain. You has plumb th’ wrong idea there, Jim. Bubba ain’t studyin’. They’se studyin’ him.