Broken Part2

I told her I forgive her but I really don't,I don't respect her because she wasn't woman enough to give me answers. She keeps telling me she loves me but she hurt me so how is that love.it wasn't a mistake when it happened almost every day for two years. I look at her and no longer see my love,my partner or my other half,I see a girl who used me and threw me to the side like trash. I could get over a one night stand but this went deeper,she almost wanted to keep her.i was in a competition and didn't even know it,she never even showed it.she was good at being a liar and a cheater but yet she wants me to never leave her. The cheating went deeper cuz it involved feelings and that's what keeps me from healing. All I think about day and night is how I got played in plain sight. How she could be with her and come home to me like nothing. That's not love and love is all I want....but I'm still with her,am I fool or am I fool?