Broken Bits

Take a piece of this lonely heart Dust it off for a brand new start I give to you the only part that bleeds Pump it up all full of love Lonely hearts don't get enough Hold on to it and give it what it needs So sit with me and have a few I bet you're feeling lonely too Slip right through another lonesome day Tell me that we'll keep in touch Only so it won't hurt as much When you decide to take it all away I think I'm better off alone You'd think by now I should've known I'm dishing out another dose of pain All busted up in broken bits All tangled up in loneliness Don't think that I will ever be the same ~Billy Hitz~

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Dave Timperley

Date: 7/12/2015 6:12:00 AM

The last line say it all. You don't ever want to be the same. I worked in rehab for a long time. I met so many broken men, talked the night through. Tried to keep contact. never did. Another good write my friend. I hope there will be more. God Bless. D.

Billy Hitz
Date: 7/12/2015 10:57:00 AM

Thanks for your input Dave.

Josefina Costales

Date: 7/4/2015 11:18:00 PM

I am sensing that the person here speaking is bravely picking up the broken pieces of a love experience, hoping to carry on with his life despite it. As to the form, I note the consistent 4-4-5 meters to each stanza. There are stanzas with lines that do not actually rhyme, but form aside, they do not detract the meaning the poem wants to convey. I hope I'm not so far off in my comment. Good write.

Billy Hitz
Date: 7/5/2015 10:11:00 AM

Thank you for your comment.