Broke But Not Broken

I check my empty bank account And wonder how am I gonna make it. I look at those red numbers And think I can no longer take it. I have trouble breathing Because I am barely staying afloat. I wish someone would help me, Come save me with a lifeboat. The bills keep piling up, The collection calls never stop. How did I hit rock bottom When I was so close to the top? I look upon my child's face, My happy and charismatic baby girl... I broke my promise to her Because I can't give her the world. Christmas was my favorite holiday Now I dread December 25th. I can't afford what she deserves Because it's hard to buy even one gift. Birthdays are just as bad. I can't celebrate my child's big day. It's hard to disappoint my child Because I never imagined it being this way. I have to figure out which bill will be late How much gas I will need to get me by How much money I can use for food It's so frustrating, I just want to cry. That seems impossible Because I've already cried two rivers. Every time I try to swim upstream, Currents keep pushing me downriver. It breaks my heart to look at my child, Oblivious to all the negative And realize that my beautiful offspring Is my main reason to live. I laugh to keep from crying And so many people don't even know Just how bad my situation is; All they know is what I choose to show. I keep a smile on my face So people won't ask too many questions. I try so hard to stay positive Living in this detrimental recession. I've gotten to the point that I can't cry anymore And I sit still with that Novacane feeling. As I continue trying to hold out on faith, I find myself constantly kneeling, Praying to God asking for strength, Asking for some way over this hump, Believing He will fix my pain And help me overcome my financial slump. I looked around and wondered how some had it so easy, How I'm the one that has to struggle and others don't But then I realized, I don't know their story So I try not to compare mine to the unknown. I just have to keep my head up Do my best to stay strong for my family. I believe that God's got it And He knows just what's best for me.