Bring Me Back Under

When I get ahead i feel fine, But somethings there to drag me back, Kicking and screaming i try to resist "I was so close this time." No matter what it is i cant win this race, The lead will be huge, but it will find me, Grab me and pull me down. "Almost this time." My head will be in the clouds, My eyes full of sunlight, But then a storm appears and makes me retreat "Next time will be the one" Im patient this time, I wait for an opening, I See it, and no wrongs, It looks good, its clear!, Yes! but then where i least expect it im hit, I didnt bother to think about that side, It found me and drags me under "Not again. No!," Now i give up hope thinking theres no way for me to escape this horrid torment and depression, that theres truely no light at the end of this tunnel of my soul. But I see this light now, brighter then ever before and its closer, but im to afraid to move. Too scared to make a run for it, to frightend to even try to escape this hell ive been dweling in for years. I call for it, i scream in anguish and pain but it stays still, I must make the move now it. but i cant, I want to but I have lived and I have learned from past mistakes. The words "Trust" and "Love" are just page fillers to me now. So I think and calculate my chances, I sprint toward it but im sure the outcome, because this is happening now, at this moment. I hope, I pray for the best but my past shows no asurence that i will succeed. Im in motion now and I hope ill make it outside this time.