Breathing Life Into Legalese

I, henceforth, known as the respirer, do solemnly swear hereafter, to take you in, in sufficient quantities to ensure continuation of the flesh's animation. I additionally, do accede my heretofore, essential need of your estimable service, and express my desire to continue our mutually beneficial, ok, parasitic, relationship Being, as you are, substantive to well-being, I wish to publicly, and, without reservation, acknowledge, my sincere admiration for your valuable and well known qualities By any and all conveyances available to stated respirer, procurement of your services is to be distributed to every cell of said being equitably and on an as needed basis until such time as service is no longer necessitated I, the aforementioned respirer, do in earnest, testify to my intent and necessity for a continual contractual relationship, with you In short, you breathe life into mine © Goode Guy 2013-04-26