Bottled Vinegar

In these days of austerity It’s getting to be a treat To go out for a few pints And have a bite to eat, So, Please Mr Pub Landlord Grant me just a little wish Bring back the vinegar bottle So I can splash me bit of fish. Those little plastic sachets You’ve generously placed there Supposedly have perforation But they just refuse tear. I need that essential liquid Over me chips and cod To transpose it from wonderful To meal fit for a demi god. I sit there by the mimute Growing more and more tense Looking at the pile of sachets That just won’t dispense In despair I eat my meal Before it grows cold But it’s just not the same Without that liquid of gold. I shall add that designer to That list of those folk that I’d like to meet in a dark alley When I’ve got my baseball bat A pox on the plastics industry Once thought a packaging solution Now a source of anger and despair And the growing oceanic pollution. I’m just a simple type of being So many modern things I hate Just give me fish and taties Hot, served on a real plate And I reall dont think that I’m asking rather a lot For vinegar in a real bottle And salt and pepper in a pot.