Bonded Retirement Plan

Everyone desires a secure future, an ironclad plan, entrenched and unchangeable, without flaws or loopholes. This one has everything; it cannot decrease in value, the terms never vary, it’s bonded against theft, and the cost is zero. Totally free, is that possible? Someone already paid? This is too good to be true. Bring out the contract, where do I sign? It is the only rescue of its kind in existence, designed by the provider of all things, who freely sacrificed his most precious asset to ransom the lost sheep. Nothing on earth can offer the inalterable benefits of God's retirement plan!