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Body: True Story

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Below is the poem entitled Body: True Story which was written by poet Johnathon Souders. Please feel free to comment on this poem. However, please remember, PoetrySoup is a place of encouragement and growth.

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Body: True Story

I stood on a wheat-grassed hill,
It's crest a overpass.
Pine rows below overgrown.
Forming into forest behind.
My childhood grounds.

Three boys, friends in time
Winter of "78"
When clouds dropped heavy
Deep covering, white cold
Draging sleds, overstuffed
In snowsuits.

The boys used this hill
With joyous lust
And loud laghter.
Slicing with metal runners
Above depths of storms.

A ramp.
Formed snow tight.
Near bottoms incline.
Shot there pleasure upwards
Twards a haze of gray,
In the quick, gravity's glee
Bodies held tight, gut waiting
For ramps flight.

Later that spring
A newspaper tucked
Under my arm
Told of a woman,a  body.
Beaten, burnt
Left in the fall.

We stood, three boys looking.
Polices tap streamers,
And vehicle tracts.
Seeing black Reminisce
On white grass shoots.
We could smell decay
Were the ramp use to be.

Three boys, guilty faces
Scilently reminiscing  joyouse lust
On the back of violated dead
Over and over to the haze of gray.

Life kept the body and heavy.
Burdend by snow-pleasure.

( had trouble with this one, comments I would greatly need, thanks Johnathon.)

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  1. Date: 1/15/2010 6:06:00 PM
    I do not write again until I can write half like this ... a very stimulative mystery. I see Deborah's point of view, I pay attention to spelling in all other places too ... but I keep you present syntax (I am opposing Deborah's reach for ease of understanding and traditional metaphors). Your connectors are like adjectives (a trait of your voice) giving words newness, lore and mystery.

  1. Date: 8/19/2009 12:45:00 PM
    What an outstanding poem!! a very joyful read

  1. Date: 5/10/2009 7:35:00 PM
    I hope you and me came be friends...

  1. Date: 4/13/2009 11:03:00 AM
    "its crest an overpass" or "cresting an over pass" 2nd version more active, involving;"Pines in rows" "A forest formed" or "Forming a forest overgrown".."Toward a haze" "in quick gleefull defiance of gravity" "ramp flight..1 ramp? aye?" "vehicle tracks" "Three guilty faced boys, silently reminiscing, joyous lust unbound, upon the the back of death, over and over in a gray haze of unknowing." "Death kept the body heavy, Life unburdened snow-pleasure."??

  1. Date: 3/21/2009 7:01:00 AM
    Chilling. I see Carolyn is writing to you with help you may need, so I will just comment. What a horrible reality for children to face. Nothing to feel guilty about, but how could you help it. Horrific really, what people do. Almost reminds me of a scene from a movie. Captivating write. Love, Shar

  1. Date: 3/20/2009 10:03:00 PM
    Johnathon, I love this poem. Please check your soup mail.