Blues Boating Home

Human history is difficult; hard pressed, discovering and rediscovering, connecting and reconnecting feelings about therapeutic needs and sacred wants for trauma-prevention peace trust joy Through co-empathic singing passions which may, too often, feel stressful Irritating depressing stormy before unconditional win/win regard for Self AND Other reconnect, Like EgoTheistic re-ligion and EcoMatrimonial indigenously multicultural ecowomanist wisdom Of Ego/EarthTribe mutual MeWe becoming more green therapeutic together than win/lose competitive confrontationally dissociating controlling and too egocentric and too anthro-dominant held too LeftBrain supremacist apart. On my drive back to my blue turbulent home, I struggle with postpartum depression, Common when I separate from spiritual sojourner musicians, fellow wandering sacred wonderers would-be soul-full sailing travelers, not hopelessly ego-engorged, but happy harmonizers and intuitive dancers, expressively embodied movers and economic-political shakers, mindful ecological leaders and GoodNews infused chorus girls and everyday win/win polyphonic boys, maturely compassionate men and women and exotic in-between bodhisattva polytheists. Why am I feeling irritated against you? What could I have said and gestured, and shared, and done, and not done to let you know, to let you in on how unheard unseen and unappreciated I am feeling as this evening, this mortal life, this sacred opportunity slides and swims and sails by. In more recent weeks our original intent to listen deeply with informed compassion for wounds becoming unweaponed, for win/win communion therapies that join conjoin rejoin past win/lose traumas feels unraveled, sidetracked, drydocked in issues about pain, mountainous suffering, loss of fertile plain control, severances overwhelming renewals, universal climatic turbulence flooding remaining hopes for unitarian green/blue EarthTribe boating peaceful home. Why do you seem so triggered by alpha stressed competitions with our sometimes surprisingly controlling too egocentric capitalistic spiritual director, sacred leader, ecopolitical peace activist, theological love teacher, ecological panentheistic mentor, health-is-wealth core care facilitator, multicultural mediator, operations conductor of musicians, at our musing and amusing best, and not cacophonously win/lose strategists at our distrusting and mistrusting worst. I become curious about why you want to control our musical mountainous expression of plain and solid standing to sing together by remaining distant from my inside rolling oceans of peak sensory musical movement experiences. Why do you seem less curious about how I struggle to joyfully continue sailing never, ever having known safe harbor or healthy home portal, on this straight white privileged planetary place? Sailing on this epic journey for positive regard that I know, without shadows of depressing doubt, will stand and sit and lie, listen and speak and sing with me as I am embraced with all my woundedness and poverty, lack of choices over despondent voices And yet, despite all storms and drownings, so too our co-empathic capsizing sacred brilliance to joyfully celebrate, quietly appreciate, gratefully acknowledge everyday sacraments of kindred sailing souls Making our blue ways home under stars of full moon heavens embracing revolutions of therapeutic light and traumatic night, wondering How frightening it feels to age away from peak mental spiritual physical natural control Facing inevitable mortal degeneration threatening to steal back my sureness that below Me and within We feel no motion, no terrifying emotion while standing firmly in control of this plain everyday yet mountainous musical event Of rolling co-operations and conflicts, voiced and hidden, in overwhelm surviving mode so not able to access confident curious co-thrival co-passionate means to deeply listen and appreciate being born to sail this Earth together in this time of climatic changing blue boat swamping terror Within the fathoms of our turbulent oceanic universe, traveling salt-teared Earth driving home wondering why you are now less curious about why my fluidly legato love story requires a cappella blues, reflective repetitions, emotive nuances as slow and widely engaged, deeply felt as floating thoughts diving into EarthTribe's most sacred peak systemic experiences Blue blues rolling through oceans of warm salty wet Earth tears of universal compassion ReMembering human history is difficult, hard pressed, discovering and rediscovering, connecting and reconnecting feelings about therapeutic needs with sacred wants for peace trust joy sacred mused harmonics.