Blood On the Pad

for the peace I hope to gain in the future there's a lot of Pain i need to remove from my past I used to be ashamed of my scars, but I'm now proud of my dents and bruises from when I crashed All I ever wanted as a kid was a hug from my dad I never received that, so I promised to myself I would always leave blood on the pad We all have different ways of dealing with pain Have you ever been so numb, that you can walk through a storm and not end up feeling the rain? Ever had a girl want to see you grow when you're unwilling to change? Ever thought you were over something just to end up feeling it again? It's easy to carry on while carrying a carry-on, but eventually it turns to baggage and becomes heavy Which makes it easier to fall especially when you were already unsteady People love to see you fall as this world lacks empathy Thankful that I'm getting to be strong minded as I'm packed mentally But I won't lie, my mind has been elsewhere recently I've been nursing others and forgetting about self care recently I've been living reckless and haven't felt scared recently Questioning why I've been helping others who haven't been providing help here equally People who kicked me while I was down expected me to help them up People who would laugh as I would self destruct She fell in love with this poet just to say actions speak louder than words and got mad that I rarely open up in person, but will put it all in a verse I'm slowly realising that you can't please everyone so I'm done trying I'm not asking for your shoulder, so you don't need to know why I'm crying I'm starting to take the good from the bad my pen is a sword so I just left blood on this pad