Blood On a Warm Summer Night

I lay here thinking about what i have said and done. One of my arms is flowing the life from my body, the other is holding the blade. I sit here crying. This is true pain. I understand what it means to hold whats closest and yet it pushes you away. You will never understand the love i hold for you all days. It looks as i am not alone in this feeling, but I cannot be sure. I cant decide if want to hide my love or have you drop it on the floor. Why does life persist to burn my heart with passion if my body does not deserve what it wants. it makes me feel like I'm nothing when you want to tell me i am. you seem so convinced and yet my soul hides, it stares at all my imperfections and tells me i am disgusting. My gut says I'm a freak but you tell me I am amazing. I feel like imperfection to the world and you say it doesn't matter. you are who you are and the rest just makes you you. Fading back in from my thoughts i discover. you are the one i love but yet it doesn't matter. My wrist is still bleeding, my thoughts grow smaller. I begin to tingle all over my body. The light is getting darker my will grows less stronger. Maybe if I die you will soon realize what truly matters.......