Bipolar Abandoned

What happens when I am lonely Reality becomes a game Because everything becomes so phony. Many times my emotions overwhelm me This tortures me all day But you'd never know unless you can already see. I sit inside my head Think about horrible things And than never make it to bed. I know I have to get up and clean That's how I deal with my bipolar When I'm in a rage and being mean. I wonder where the day has went As if I was only on borrowed time God to me has lent. There's those days I feel so much energy and power But than there's the other days Where I feel as shy and frigid as a flower. Sometimes when I go to bed at night That constant urge sets in Preparing for fight or flight. I have plenty of anxiety So much that I don't eat or sleep And tend to know no boundary. I deal with this from day to day Sometimes I find myself alone In my bedroom just drifting away. Life has always left me pondering Will this craziness ever stop I think I will always be wondering. For me sometimes it's so easy to get lost Into a world you'll never understand Because it's a road you have not crossed!