Bible Study

Hello, there. Rise and shine. I think I’ll call you Adam/ Who are you? Your creator. The maker of all you fathom/ You can call me God. This place is the Garden of Eden/ Why’d you make me? Boredom but that’s part of the reason/ The other part is I needed someone to use this Earth/ Can’t have just animals. It makes the project lose its worth/ So you can do anything? Yes. That’s a huge ass gift/ Can you make a rock so heavy that even you can’t lift?/ Damn, kid you clowning me? I’ll smite your butt to Venus/ Hey God what’s this funny thing? Oh, that’s just your / What’s it for? Basically, you have it around for pissing/ Yes, Adam, I see it. Can you just put it down and listen/ I’ve..Adam, listen…this garden’s full so food won’t diminish/ Adam! Stop playing with your dick for two ing minutes/ And let me talk to you! Defying me will only make it worse/ What the hell’s that? I don’t know. You’ve got to name it first/ One of the many perks. Your main job will be the name giver/ Name that one. Coke whore! Should’ve made your brain bigger/ Now enjoy. I’ve given you free will so I’ll value your opinions/ All the animals are yours to command. Now rule your dominion/ The only thing forbidden is eating from the Tree of Knowledge/ If you go there, all the gifts I’ve bestowed will be abolished/ Years passed and Adam performed his naming job carefully/ Tending to his animals and plants and praising God faithfully/ Playfully ran through the Garden but at night cried in confidence/ He was very lonely because he couldn’t find his compliment/ Other animals had one. Watching them breed became habitual/ He was fascinated and yet envious of their mating rituals/ He was staying spiritual but wondered if God had hate for him/ Sensing his pain, God took a rib and created a mate for him/ He named her Eve. It’s cool but you gotta fix what’s missing first/ So God had to explain to Adam and Eve how their equipment works/ ‘Ooooooh’ they both said and were soon eager to test it out/ Caught up in rapture, marveling at bodily fluids that jetted out/ Life was better now. Nothing can stop these lovers’ party/ Spending days laughing then at night exploring each others body/ Then one fateful day, Eve passed by a tree with a serpent/ This is the Tree of Knowledge. Want to live free with a purpose?/ God gives you free will yet still bosses you. That’s wrong of him/ He’s just scared cause if you eat this, you’ll be as strong as him/ I don’t know. God specifically said not to. I wouldn’t dare/ If God didn’t want you to eat it why would he put it there?/ You shouldn’t care what he thinks. He’s just trying to frighten you/ Take a bite of this , girl and let the truth enlighten you/ So Eve took a bite, and the doors of perception had been opened/ Foolishly, she thought the chains of God’s deception had been broken/ Saw she was naked and made a dress from leaves and some twine/ She went back to Adam and gave him a piece of her mind/ Alright, first off, since you stupid, I’m making this simple/ And put your little dick away... can’t even fit thimbles/ I need a man. Think I’m living with a poor slob? Forget it/ Tomorrow, I’m inventing money and it’ll be your job to get it/ And I’m making you clothes. Right now you make me look bad/ By the way, this dress I made, does it make me look fat?/ Answer me damn it! It’s this lack of talking that’s got me reeling/ You should read my mind and know exactly how I’m feeling/ And shouldn’t we have a house? This garden air is stifling/ And naming animals ain’t a job. God, I swear your trifling/ I try but it seems like sometimes you don’t even care, son/ Your no income ass. Can’t even get my nails and hair done/ And you suck in bed. One minute, boom, then you slumber/ Why do you think I have to fill the room with them cucumbers?/ You can’t remember anniversaries but you know the species?/ And no it’s not romantic when you fart and show your feces/ You’re disgusting. If you love me, you’ll do whatever I say/ I’m the boss now. Thing’s will be run forever my way!/ Adam ran to God. Yo, Eve’s gone insane! It’s the truth/ Nope, she went to the forbidden tree and bit the fruit/ I told you never to go there and now it’s time for punishment/ Immortality gone. You’re on you own in finding nourishment/ And animals will attack you. No longer will the smile work/ And you’ll conceive during sex. I’m throwing in painful childbirth/ But I didn’t .... I’ve got no tolerance for underhanded minions/ What’s my punishment? An eternity of not understanding women….