Betting On Nothing

By committing to nothing, one retains infinite options. I have hid inside these words for moons and seasons and New Year’s toasts. The lone wolf roams fertile pastures unfettered. The thrill of the hunt. The chase. An empty bed is the hope of a new body’s sleeping curve. Tomorrow becomes yesterday. “The mystery of mysteries is the gateway to marvels.” I stopped looking long ago. The faces have blurred into a montage of emptiness. Come and go; came and went. I never bothered much to be bothered. There aren’t many memories And I am thankful for that. Wet fingers and licked lips’ Blood on my hands. Wasted time. The years run on like a favorite sitcom gone bad. It all should have been retired years ago. It is easier to stay afloat and roam the big waters alone Than set up camp on an island and face a face. No problems. No worries. No connection. Freedom is all that you cannot commit to And who surrenders to nothing is he who lives in frigid shadows of fear. Maybe I have never truly known warmth. I walk the streets like a war-worn shoulder. A little cold, a little distant, a little too silent. The words I have are recycled fragments of someone else’s life. I don’t offer much. Poker face. Can you read my concrete stare? I have an entire universe hiding in my back pocket But I’m scared to show you. It’s been so long since I groped or even fondled my own life. I’m not sure what I do or don’t have to offer. I just keep making bets and upping the ante.