Beneath the Elder Trees

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Written for a prompt that called for something a little unsettling - not an uplifting piece and it won't hurt my feelings if you don't want to read it. The form was interesting, though, It was to be an Italian Sonnet that went ABBA ABBA CDACDA with the 1st and 14th lines repeating.

What creeps in space beneath the Elder trees where time exists unfettered misting shore that haunts and howls yet never says what for as unborn twins that rot in garbled seas? Whose breath turns stale an autumn mystic breeze then speaks of life remembered ripe with gore, of lust and death all stemming from a whore who swiped a card to pay her selfish fees? When rolling fog turned damp the summer air while moon-lit skies exposed a mother’s tomb then infants torn in half made heartfelt pleas that fell on deafened ears which didn’t care; The slain that rest now freed from Satan’s womb - What creeps in space beneath the Elder trees.

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Daniel Turner

Date: 9/10/2016 8:38:00 AM

The reader can feel the anger, angst rising the more they read. Very troubling subject! Excellent write, technically. Who prompted you?

Phillip Garcia
Date: 9/10/2016 8:55:00 AM

Thanks Daniel - it was a picture prompt on all poetry that for whatever reason caught my 1am eye

Paul Callus

Date: 9/10/2016 8:06:00 AM

As you say, Phillip, this is an interesting form, one which I still have to try. I found the dark, deep content very expressive, while meter and flow are excellent. ~ Full marks to you! Regards // paul

Phillip Garcia
Date: 9/10/2016 8:58:00 AM

Thank you Paul - it's well worth the try - definitely a fun challenge to hit the Volta and know you only have 35 or so words left in which to return to where you started. Thank you for taking a look!