Believe

I don't believe in anything anymore Actually lets be honest I don't believe in a big amount of things I don't believe in love I don't believe in people I don't believe in safety But mostly I don't believe in myself Not anymore anyways Most people would find that sad But I do not How can I believe in myself? I'm like a bird Who should trust in their wings To carry them up when the branch breaks But I cannot Because you see If I were a bird my wings would be clipped And tell me Why would a bird trust in wings That cannot make them rise? I am a bird in a cage And that cage is my depression And in my cage is a perch which is my anxiety Then on the far side their is a mirror I can see myself I can see a girl Who is broken Who is lost Who is tired And who is afraid I look in that mirror And I see not what you see I see the scars and the newly marked lines I see the demons I see the mistakes The horrors of my past All of which make me Me I see a girl who can barely look you in the eyes And I feel the tears that slide down my cheeks Every night as I try to find peace in sleep I see the girl that they have all made me into The girl that they make me believe that I am The girl that can't get away The girl who can't save herself Why do I go through this hell! Why do I constantly revisit all of these memories This life is not meant to be lived in such a way It is not meant to end because someone cannot handle it It was not meant to be filled with so much pain and fear It was not meant to be such a tragedy And it was not supposed to have to end so soon... But maybe it doesn't have to end Maybe my wings will grow back Maybe I won't always be stuck in this cage And maybe I am worth it Maybe I can believe in myself Maybe one day all will be different But today is not that day So I will wait I will wait for the one day that may or may not come When my wings can carry me And when I will once again Believe in me.