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Before His Hands Form Frost Upon My Breath

Before his hands form frost upon my breath And pierce me with his dark immortal night I plan to play a game of chess with Death Distant and in the dark he took my Beth I fear not; but her eyes...this fright I'll fight! Before his hands form frost upon my breath Must I intake myself amounts of meth? To win a match and moments more of light I plan to play a game of chess with Death My strategy shall speak of Cain and Seth And Abel's life, trapping his king and knight! Before his hands form frost upon my breath Methinks myself more morbid than Macbeth My throne is life, fear vanish from my sight! I plan to play a game of chess with Death Before my coffins' head is crowned a wreath, Before my eyes evolve forever white, Before his hands form frost upon my breath I plan to play a game of chess with Death

Copyright © | Year Posted 2011




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Date: 5/22/2011 2:38:00 PM
Such pathos! Lovely use of meter too! I thought perhaps you might let the reader, kind of fill in the blank where you put meth [as your poison so to speak] if you ended with the word redress / impose fairness on something: to adjust a situation in order to make things fair or equal [which would be a slip rhyme for death/breath etc.] they could wonder HOW is he or would I compensate for this tragedy? Just a thought [don't mind me I love to talk!] Light & Love
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Date: 5/22/2011 1:18:00 PM
What a creative and nicely worded villanelle with a meaningful refrain, Johny
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Date: 5/22/2011 1:44:00 PM
Thankyou. Your words mean alot and your work is inspirational along with the whole community. I've been with the Soup since '06 - stopped writing for several years and now I'm trying to find my way back home. I am truly honored to say thanks for the support : )

Book: Shattered Sighs