Beautiful Scars

Beautiful scars Bottles flew like hand grenades weapons of war in a battle of rage My first memories were a storm of abuse I started hiding in shame Fear gripped my innocent soul I wondered if I would die There was no escape for me I was only five The storm subsided and an unusual calm set in but something was wrong I just knew it. Underneath the facade of peace there was a hypocritical truth Rejection was my constant companion all throughout my youth My role model, my father, I figured... pretended I didn't exist I was the invisible boy looking for love but seeing hatred in the midst I escaped my prison of loneliness hypocrisy and shame thought I found my one true love but all I got was more pain Rejected again by someone I loved my heart shredded inside If not for God's love I knew I would have died died of a broken heart... shattered in a million pieces I lived from grief to grief only finding relief... when pains tenacious grip on me released So my beautiful scars go unnoticed by others one person has seen them, my loving mother It took awhile to heal, I feel good now but I keep on healing It's hard to heal when they keep cutting... and it's your emotions that are bleeding. John Derek Hamilton Revised from Nov24,2015 April 12,2016