Bathroom Privileges

Here comes big Aunt Clara, those arm pits really stink; She uses all the paper, leaves her dentures in the sink! Wearing out her welcome, attention's what she seeks; For her to stay the night, somehow becomes a week! I can't go to the bathroom, she's always locked inside; Boy, I'm such a jerk, when I'm forced to wait outside! I wake up extra early, a little bit after four; I have the bathroom to myself, that's what I thought before! "Nephew",... Are you in there?" "Auntie gotta go really bad" I try my best to keep my cool, by now I'm gettin' mad! Ever since she lost our uncle, she's always been alone; I can sense her solemn grief, but our bathroom's not her home! Each time we have a visit, our heads are held in shame; She waddles into the bathroom, and blows our poker game! "FFLLLLLLLLLOOOOOOOPPPP!!" oh, what a gruesome sound! One by one, they ease away, their smiles replaced with frowns! One cold October evening, the skies were dark and black; Clara sat on the toilet, and had a heart attack! We called the paramedics, five minutes already passed; What we thought was a heart attack, was nothing more than gas! We started CPR, compressions across the heart; A poot was what we heard, she unleashed a vicious fart! Aunt Clara's alive and well, she'll be seeing us all too soon; Our latest plans for progress? Build another bathroom!!