Aye Passively Plead Death To Please Release Me From Agonizing Clutches

(alternately titled: Typical daily mindset today – July 17th, 2020) The following words mostly unredacted, nevertheless finessed for curbed poetic/prosaic appeal lock, stock and barrel codify, and edify (hoopfully not mortify) any reader unbeknownst and/or familiar with unsteady state of yours truly, (an ordinary garden variety generic guy) who ofttimes expresses suicidal ideations merely freed pent up watery melancholic thoughts (pitted within his psyche) to experience vicariously personal impact how such Earth shattering words of finality might affect (or not) an anonymous reader. Additionally I gave literary weight to morbid topic confounding moost every sentient and sensate human being unable to escape her/his ultimate demise eventually laid claim by grim reaper who unfailingly claims corporeal essence which accepted fate impossible mission to envision, yet as chronological orbitz figuratively accrued heightened awareness proportionately pronounced (at least within mine cerebral cortex) thus teasing out mortality to comprehend (even minimally) such mind boggling concept. No immediate recourse sought to compromise, exorcise, jeopardize, et cetera the mailer daemons powerfully fraternizing gamesomely cavorting, ripsnorting, and yes terrorizing sinusoidal undulations whatsapp pining within mine approximately deux clenched fist sized brain temporary organic matter lodged within the noggin of one contemplative, intuitive, and ruminative *****sapien. Mine skeptical papa helped beget me, a stranger in a strange land, I experience difficulty breathing despite pitch perfect cloudless ether analogously steeped in foreign air, as surviving foreigner, one doubting Thomas (English muffin) niggling heir. Nostalgic reminiscences venerated zealously violently pound every square inch, where thinking transpires within convolutions characterizing fifty shades of gray matter lodged clapping hands upon ears renders a feeble attempt to block deafening mind chatter. I precariously perch (albeit metaphorically) perch upon precipice staring into infinite abyss hesitant to bid thee world of the livingsocial adieu trembling, kickstarting, fumfering... apprehensive, tentative, wary regarding permanent solution to temporary emotional ill afore taking leave, where family bids me good riddance bon voyage into netherlands long sought realm of hereafter abounding with peacefulness of body, mind, and spirit. Linkedin with hypothetical undertaking that envisions me dead preceding lines fell shy describing scenario analogous to internal civil war playing out inside formerly nasal twanging talking head, (above attributed to submucous cleft palate) yours truly characterized asthma worst enemy led imagine pacifist sent into battle without mercy futile effort foregone conclusion, hence pointlessness witnessing prayer for salvation, which I ne'er pled akin to Isaac Bashevis Singer Gimpel the fool and/or kamikaze pilot one and/or another rushed in where angels feared to tread. More'n devilish tomfoolery, I disclosed wretched mental state no, not necessarily continuous unbridled intense self destruction within me pate more so chronic ho-hum ambivalent attitude quite upsetting thee missus, i.e. me mate more often than not no surprise predominant moody blue exhibited courtesy yours truly, twould be antonym of jubilate tis the exception when I feel (likened to Tony the tiger) grrrrrreat!