Awakening From Stupor

I welcome the grogginess. That dulling of my senses. Until the walls turn to hazy grey. My hand coming in and out of focus. Another two fingers of whiskey swirling in my glass. “Bottoms up” making short work of a Fifth. “99 bottles of beer on the wall, 99 bottles of beer!” No one around to stop the madness. Booze and beer bottles litter this dingy motel room. Mr. Peanut, staring at me from the side of a Planters peanut can. It’s worth the extra buck fifty for a classy snack. A bag of pretzels on the dresser as back up. How many trips to the liquor mart on Fourth? Shuffling, shuffling, no need to drive. I chose my motel well, one block south, lean to the left and voila! Fifteen minutes later back to the room. No need to fumble with the lock it’s easier to leave the door open. The ”Do not disturb” hanger is still on the door knob. Three days 5 hours, one less room for the maid to clean. She probably got to go home a half hour early. No bargain though, it might take 3 days to catch up. “Three bottles of beer on the wall, if one of those bottles should happen to fall” Oh crap, I piss myself again. Too numb, to shuffle to the can. The smell of piss and vomit doesn’t even register. I fall forward like a tree that has been chopped down. There is a cracking sound as my nose breaks but no pain. I’m now in a dreamless land. Thirteen hours later the Motel Manager is shaking me hard. “Hey man, wake up. If you don’t get out of here I’m calling the police.” Meanwhile I hear the clink of glass bottles as the maid fills a garbage bag with my empties. The smell of vomit, piss and blood permeates my broken nose. Thoughts flood my mind, I want that numbness again. I don’t care if it doesn’t solve my problems. It makes them bearable.