Automated Despair

I’m bad tempered and upset, Feeling tired isolated alone Sitting hopefully waiting for Someone to answer the phone . I just want to hear A normal human voice But these days my dears You don’t get a choice. Androgynous, emotionless It’s going off again Promising an answer but Never saying when, Any second now and we Know what it will say, Your call is important Please don’t go away. When somebody invented Automatic answer machine Life got more complicated Than it had ever been Then the multi choice options To save wasting their time But they just don’t bother About them wasting mine. There used to switchboards With real people to call, Probably shoved out on the dole, Machines don’t need wages at all. The inventor of this obscenity Is over the seas living in style A successful and much lauded Multi faceted rain and tax exile. All I can say is, Enjoy it while you can. One day you may meet One very angry man Who’s spent ages feeling Isolated and all on his own As he’s waited and waited To be answered on the phone Every doggie has, In time, their day And, oh brother may be mine To make him slowly pay.