Auntie Ann

Who knows what happened to Auntie Ann? We've tried to find out, as best we can— scoured the papers, followed the news, and still we don't know how we could lose our cherished Auntie Ann. There's always been vile rumor, of course, (remember to consider the source!) that Annie just gave in to the drink. But if she did, you wouldn't think that she'd completely disappear. Someone has to buy the beer for drunken Auntie Ann! Then there are those who said she went to join the circus under the tent— that she became an acrobat, did triple flips, imagine that! But she was lonely— can you blame her?— she fell in love with the lion tamer who married Auntie Ann. Now Auntie Ann was so very sweet, it's not unthinkable that she'd meet a ne'er-do-well who'd promise her a profit if she'd just transfer her money into his account. Could she have lost a vast amount?— gullible Auntie Ann. One of the silliest thoughts I've heard is that Auntie left without a word and moved to Africa to stay where she resides this very day, traipsing about in safari clothes. (just why she'd do that, nobody knows)— eccentric Auntie Ann. I always rather thought it weird that Annie wished she had a beard. My theory is, she found a doc (prepare yourself, it's quite a shock) who, with his scalpel, was quite handy and turned our Auntie, sweet as candy, ....... into Uncle Andy!