At the Mercy of Interminable Anticipatory Anxiety, Hence

At the mercy of interminable anticipatory anxiety, hence... viz hitted courtesy debilitating one after another panic attack analogous being bombarded with flak worse fate then death or being tortured on the rack, no mortal experience compares regarding psychological paralysis just ask me who would even choose electroconvulsive therapy making my body go wickety wack. Upon waiting for Godot (ha) yours truly, i.e. mister re: man registered lamentable paroxysm. All thru mein kampf inferiority complex analogous invisible muscular heft did flex, quaking, hijacking, agonizing... jinxed irrevocable hex re: heredity did initially index courtesy Boyce and Harriet, who begat me guaranteed, fixed, decreed... courtesy accursed lex lucifer mortal christened Matthew Scott Harris - insinuated jackknifed, kickstarted, limned, machined, nixed, ordered... orifex encompassing hardiest inscrutable seminal entry point penetrated zona pellucida, qua Rex wrought flawed crowning zygote (a diploid cell resulting from fusion of two haploid gametes; a fertilized ovum) plus played knick knack paddy whack during sex faulty erroneous biological code, within body electric mutation fleshed out, I lament analogous courtesy neophyte Unix programmer, yes I hedge to intimate biological event upon impregnation sent reproductive juices into action miracle whipped processes wielded unbeknownst advent, whereby subsequent cell division manifested, albeit nine months later enfant terrible asper:in, this then newborn age zero gent lo' blending of gametes, mature haploid male or female germ cell every generic ingredient already harbored yours truly characteristic weaknesses full extent unbeknownst until DNA blooper rent birthed, thence as I developed absent pronounceable kinks vis a vis trademark characteristics became present evinced thru behavioral, emotional, interpersonal, neurological aberrations costing me (lake dude...) falling into deep waters re: Lake Woebegone suffocating descent wretchedness faux forfeiting every moment only recent (think today) entire existence misspent oddly enough even compromising ability to serve meant two daughters, (especially eldest) decry horrible life pent up with rage against human machine referring to paternal birth parent, whose pathetic example rent asunder psyches linked with offspring hence, I best ought to have joined (NOT nunce sense), a convent but methought perch ants donning habit and trumpeting celibacy fore conclusion how life of yours truly (me) best be spent. Twas really only of late, I realized fuller blown extent house zing deplorable... state absolute zero scholastic, tete a tete opportunistic, generic, athletic... *****sapien astride oblate spheroid devoid of any marketable doth resonate.