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Asleep With Eyes Open

I sit in a chair Looking out to nowhere Haunted blank stare Open eyes unaware Sitting in a chair with wheels No one knows what I feel Is there anything for me that is real A young girl visits every day She hates to see me this way I used to have so much to say She longs for me to be okay My body is near Yet my mind isn't here locked away by fear Look close you may see a tear Through this darkness I hear her voice Awakened I make a choice A dry tongue becomes moist Back to reality From the brink of infinity Her love sets me free Brings me where I'm supposed to be I paid a terrible cost So many years were lost My mind locked in frost A victim of war Shaken to my core I couldn't take anymore So my mind shut the door Now from these lips my soul can pour! For Shadow's Victim contest Originally written April 22, 2013. Reworked August 15th 2016 to fit the perameters of the contest.

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Peggy Sharretts

Date: 12/13/2016 2:14:00 PM

"My mind locked in frost" I need to remember next time I am being close minded. I love the poem. I loved that line. Can be interpreted in so many ways.

Andrea Dietrich

Date: 8/30/2016 3:23:00 PM

I really liked this one. Nice to see a revision from you, Richard. Can't even remember but i think I did not enter this contest.

Scott Thirtyseven

Date: 8/22/2016 9:15:00 AM

Beautiful poem mate. I like to think of the little girl, being the daughter. But anywhichway a most engaging write. Best of luck with the contest.

Richard Lamoureux
Date: 8/22/2016 9:36:00 AM

Thanks Scott, it seems this one is a an N/A as far as the contest is concerned. I'm still personally happy with it, I'm glad you like I as well.

Jan Allison

Date: 8/19/2016 5:33:00 PM

Such heartbreaking deeply moving imagery in this incredibly powerful write Richard :-) hugs Jan xx

Richard Lamoureux
Date: 8/19/2016 9:01:00 PM

Thanks Jan, unfortunately it didn't make the cut for the contest. I'm pleased you enjoyed it.

Casarah Nance

Date: 8/18/2016 8:16:00 PM

aww, wow, that is such a tough situation for both those in pain and those who witness it. Hugsx

Richard Lamoureux
Date: 8/19/2016 9:35:00 AM

Hi Casarah, hugs Rick.

Tom Quigley

Date: 8/17/2016 12:11:00 AM

I'd think this would be a hard one to top for the contest. Vivid and sad.

Richard Lamoureux
Date: 8/17/2016 3:10:00 AM

You are kind Tom. Thanks!

Ralph Sergi

Date: 8/16/2016 6:46:00 PM

Hi Richard: I enjoyed your phrasing and the rhythm in which you used the words. I also loved your poem.

Richard Lamoureux
Date: 8/17/2016 3:10:00 AM

Thanks Ralph for such a generous comment.

Lynn Marie

Date: 8/16/2016 3:00:00 AM

A very tough topic written with great care and truth. Post Traumatic Stress Disorder is an unrelenting, cruel disease with veterans sadly being the largest population of sufferers from their horrific experiences in the "theatre of war". Your incredible writing shines a much needed spotlight on their plight...I thank you for this very important piece...we are better in numbers than we are in the dark, alone. Excellent writing, my very best to you in the contest :-) blessings, lynn

Richard Lamoureux
Date: 8/16/2016 7:42:00 AM

Thank you Lynn for this most thoughtful response.

Daniel Turner

Date: 8/15/2016 3:05:00 PM

PTSD is a terrible disorder. We can't possibly imagine the horrors of war. Only those who have first hand knowledge know. Vets rock! A very emotive write, Richard.

Richard Lamoureux
Date: 8/16/2016 7:43:00 AM

Thanks my friend.

Alexis Y.

Date: 8/15/2016 9:38:00 AM

Hi Richard, First of all good title(haven't got the hang of that yet). Great take on the contest theme. This piece is so sad. I could feel the intense sadness through out the write. It so devastating to be in a place(war) that can rob you of your mind? Without your mind what do you have? I think this write just secured you a spot on the winners list. Excellent job. I wish the best of luck in the contest. A without a doubt seven:-) Alexis

Richard Lamoureux
Date: 8/15/2016 9:46:00 AM

You are sweet, thanks. Hugs Rick.

Anoucheka Gangabissoon

Date: 8/15/2016 8:37:00 AM

What a sad poem.....strong words and deep.......good luck for the contest A.G

Richard Lamoureux
Date: 8/15/2016 9:47:00 AM

Thanks AG

Eileen Manassian

Date: 8/15/2016 8:26:00 AM

You make me feel very line of this amazing write, Richard. Love can bring back someone from the brink of insanity, death, or disillusion. Great write. Pass by Demetrios and wish him happy bday. I have a blog up, but you can also read his latest poem. Hugs

Richard Lamoureux
Date: 8/15/2016 8:29:00 AM

Hi Eileen, thanks for letting me know. Hugs Rick.