Get Your Premium Membership

Ask Her To Dance

Her hair was matted in a clump Still she was pretty all the same Getting water from the pump I asked her to tell me her name "People call me the Queen of Krump" "yet Jezebel is my real name" "I love music and love to bump" "When I dance I feel no shame" I placed a beatbox on a stump She danced like a consuming flame Arms flailing and gyrating rump. Like a wild beast I could never tame As I watched in my throat a lump Reckless abandon was her game In my chest I felt my heart jump She danced for pleasure not for fame For Kelly Deschler's "Not just any old Quatrain contest." This was harder than I expected.

Copyright © | Year Posted 2014




Post Comments

Poetrysoup is an environment of encouragement and growth so only provide specific positive comments that indicate what you appreciate about the poem.

Please Login to post a comment

Date: 7/30/2014 6:39:00 PM
Hey, this is cool! I like the lines.. "She danced like a consuming flame, Arms flailing and gyrating rump." Pretty neat.
Login to Reply
Lamoureux Avatar
Richard Lamoureux
Date: 7/31/2014 8:38:00 AM
Thanks Abdul.
Date: 7/28/2014 8:25:00 PM
I like this very creative write!!! Congrats on your win my friend!!
Login to Reply
Lamoureux Avatar
Richard Lamoureux
Date: 7/31/2014 8:40:00 AM
Thanks Robert.
Date: 7/28/2014 11:16:00 AM
Well done, Richard! You tackled a lovely and passionate theme with dancing rhymes. Love the final line! Congrats on your fine win. // paul
Login to Reply
Lamoureux Avatar
Richard Lamoureux
Date: 7/31/2014 8:40:00 AM
Thanks Paul
Date: 7/28/2014 8:50:00 AM
And back again wid huge congrats Richard my friend! Knew it wud be a winner for sure !
Login to Reply
Lamoureux Avatar
Richard Lamoureux
Date: 7/31/2014 8:41:00 AM
Thanks Dr. Upma
Date: 7/28/2014 1:16:00 AM
Very passionate yet quite on the humor side, Richard. Congrats
Login to Reply
Lamoureux Avatar
Richard Lamoureux
Date: 7/31/2014 8:42:00 AM
Thanks Dr. Ram
Date: 7/28/2014 12:02:00 AM
I like your 2 rhyme words for your quatrain. Well done. Love, Joyce
Login to Reply
Lamoureux Avatar
Richard Lamoureux
Date: 7/31/2014 8:43:00 AM
Thanks Joyce.
Date: 7/27/2014 10:38:00 PM
Congrats my friend on the win
Login to Reply
Lamoureux Avatar
Richard Lamoureux
Date: 7/31/2014 8:50:00 AM
Thanks Tim. ;0)
Date: 7/27/2014 8:48:00 PM
This was a passion-filled, and fun poem, Richard.... I wanted this contest to be a challenge, and you did very well with the ABAB rhyme scheme! Congrats on your win!
Login to Reply
Date: 7/20/2014 11:48:00 PM
Its just by chance I realized I wrote one along these lines!!!! ( about a Dance )
Login to Reply
Lamoureux Avatar
Richard Lamoureux
Date: 7/21/2014 12:33:00 AM
I would love to read it, what is the title?
Date: 7/20/2014 12:57:00 AM
Can I have her number? The title reminds me a song by Anne Murray, the poem however is another beautiful romantic tale, that you have woven so well!
Login to Reply
Lamoureux Avatar
Richard Lamoureux
Date: 7/20/2014 8:23:00 AM
Thanks Arthur.
Date: 7/16/2014 8:40:00 AM
You perfectly described the beauty that is created when one follows his or her passion and asks for nothing but the pleasure it brings.
Login to Reply
Lamoureux Avatar
Richard Lamoureux
Date: 7/16/2014 8:50:00 AM
Does that not describe us poets? If it was for money no writing would ever be completed.
Date: 7/15/2014 9:29:00 AM
Interesting read. You used a very creative mix here. You've done well. Good luck in the contest, Richard.
Login to Reply
Lamoureux Avatar
Richard Lamoureux
Date: 7/16/2014 8:47:00 AM
Thanks Eileen, I like the new Avatar, you look happy in this picture. What was happening on the day of this photo?
Date: 7/14/2014 3:10:00 PM
this is so good Rick gl in contest hugs
Login to Reply
Lamoureux Avatar
Richard Lamoureux
Date: 7/15/2014 9:09:00 AM
Thanks Shadow.
Date: 7/14/2014 1:24:00 PM
You have a fantastic imagination!!! Always interesting contest entries. Your mama is proud of what you write so beautifully Love Mom
Login to Reply
Lamoureux Avatar
Richard Lamoureux
Date: 7/15/2014 9:10:00 AM
Thanks mom, I love you too.
Date: 7/14/2014 11:27:00 AM
When Things we do for our pleasure,, we r at our best for sure,, come naturally,, excellent write Richard! Gl in contest!
Login to Reply
Lamoureux Avatar
Richard Lamoureux
Date: 7/15/2014 9:12:00 AM
Thanks Dr. Upma, I appreciate the positive visit.
Date: 7/14/2014 11:01:00 AM
Wow Richard i might be inspired to give this contest a go. Excellent write as ever. good luck in the contest. Hugs Jan xxx
Login to Reply
Lamoureux Avatar
Richard Lamoureux
Date: 7/15/2014 9:13:00 AM
I'm sure you will come up with something amazing.
Date: 7/14/2014 8:52:00 AM
You pulled it off...I might take a look it this later today...I am up for a good challenge
Login to Reply
Lamoureux Avatar
Richard Lamoureux
Date: 7/14/2014 9:04:00 AM
Thanks Tim, let me know when you post it.
Date: 7/14/2014 8:35:00 AM
Oh great! this was very entertaining :) I think you did a fabulous job, best of luck in the contest :)
Login to Reply
Lamoureux Avatar
Richard Lamoureux
Date: 7/14/2014 9:03:00 AM
I changed the end, let me know what you think.
Lamoureux Avatar
Richard Lamoureux
Date: 7/14/2014 8:52:00 AM
Thanks Casarah.

Book: Shattered Sighs